As a previous co-worker described herself and me, we are easily distracted by shiny objects, meaning we wander from one topic to the next and are easily swayed off course by the lure of a shiny new subject to focus on. We both noticed how we each got distracted and went off on a tangent from our main topics when co-facilitating client workshops. Then, one day she likened our tangential behavior as ‘being distracted by shiny objects.” She suggested that to help each other out, if one of us noticed the other one going off on a tangent during a workshop, they would quietly whisper “shiny object” to bring us back to topic. And it worked like a charm! In other times in my personal and professional life, those shiny objects come in the form of positive topics or activities and sometimes they are negative. When thinking back to my youth, one of my teenage memories of a shiny object distraction was a negative one that a leader taught me a valuable lesson to help overcome.
At 16 years old I worked at a local family-owned steakhouse called Beef Corral in my hometown of Gainesville Georgia. It was one of my earliest jobs and I stayed there until I graduated high school. I started off as a cook and worked my way up to a shift lead position where I had increased responsibilities for inventory management, supervising other employees, and managing the store opening and closing operations including financial responsibilities with store sales and making deposits. I felt a sense of pride in my work, learning new skills, and increased responsibility. And the job provided me with the money to pay for my first car on my own, opening many doors of opportunity for my family and me with the increased mobility.
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I also made many friends there over my high school years and worked with some talented and caring leaders. One leader who I still remember, gave me some invaluable advice that I continue to remind myself of 30+ years later. I was always worried about something. Although, for the life of me I cannot remember now what was so troublesome at the time, but in that moment, it was serious to me. No matter how well things were going, I seemed to have angst about random things that distracted me from being happy. I never was one to hide my emotions, and this leader noticed and heard me talk about things that worried me. One day he asked me at the beginning of the shift to consider a question but not respond immediately until the end of the shift. He asked, “If I was able to solve all of the things you are worried about right now, what would be the first thing you’d do?”
I quietly contemplated his question throughout the evening shift until closing when he came over and asked for my answer. I told him, “Honestly, even if you could solve all of the things I’m worried about right now, the first thing I would probably do is immediately find something new to worry about.”
“Exactly, he exclaimed!” “You are distracted and paralyzed by your worry.” “There will always be things to worry about, but you should not go looking for all the negative things and worry too much. Instead focus on what is good and how you can improve things going forward instead of worrying about things you can’t control.”
I do my best now to take his advice to heart and not go looking for things to worry about. Instead, I focus on the positive and what makes me grateful. And I look at how I can improve things going forward instead of just worrying about what I cannot control to the point that it paralyzes me from action.
In adulthood, I am distracted in different ways by shiny objects too. As my friends will tell you, my stories can sometimes go off on some wild tangents. That is why I’m called the “Rose Nylund” of our group, referring to the Golden Girls TV show character played by Betty White who is known for her rambling St. Olaf stories. My friends sometime repeat the line from Bea Arthur’s character, Dorothy, who once quipped to Rose during one of her stories, “How much longer are we gonna circle the airport, Rose? You wanna bring this baby in?” That is their long-winded way of saying “shiny object” Tony, and I land the story plane.
In other situations, the shiny objects distract me from focusing on my goals. They usually come when I am trying to do something new and challenging, and the fear of failure, desire to be perfect the first time, and imposter syndrome trigger a distractive activity that takes me off my goal tasks. These distractions may seem fun sometimes, but they are a negative that keeps me from taking the chance and stepping into the new or challenging opportunity out of fear. However, now I realize the shiny object distraction for what it often is for me, fear-based procrastination (Shatz, 2024). There are many articles and resources on the topic of procrastination, and I encourage you to check out some of them in the references below. So, as I shift my mindset with my weight loss journey, I am also shifting my mindset to notice triggers when I am distracted to do something not aligned with my goals so that I can put it aside and stay focused on what I want to accomplish.
For example, I have several goals I mentioned previously which include getting my coaching certification, writing a book, improving my public speaking, and my health transformation (I’ve lost another 3 lbs. this past week for a total of 37 lbs. in the past 11 weeks). While I’m actively working on all of these goals and making progress, I still find myself distracted by shiny objects that pull my attention elsewhere. We are all human and can’t remove all shiny objects, but there are some things we can do to minimize their impact. Simple things can make a dramatic difference like leaving my smart phone in another room to minimize the temptation to grab the phone and check emails and social media.
Other shiny objects require an increased sense of trigger awareness to recognize when I’m tempted to engage in an activity that isn’t aligned with my goals. By recognizing the triggers and the shiny object that is distracting me, I can take a pause and make a conscious decision if I genuinely want to do the other activity or if I want to continue focusing on those activities that are goal aligned. Sometimes it requires more than just being aware of the triggers and making a conscious decision to not engage with the shiny object. Sometimes, we have to remove the shiny object altogether to reduce the temptation. Even at my age, I’m still learning to recognize and address my triggers for the shiny objects that tempt me. And I continue to make improvements to stay focused on my goals, as my mantra goes, “progress not perfection” because that shiny object of always wanting perfection is one that continues to challenge me. Now, I also want to point out that we shouldn’t avoid the negative experiences and emotions in life. They are just as important to our psychological flexibility and being our whole self. Watch for a future blog post on the topic of embracing our negative and positive emotions and experiences together to empower and thrive.
Looking at your own personal and professional journey, what are some of your shiny objects that distract you from your goals? How do you recognize your triggers and remove or avoid the temptation of the shiny objects? I’d love to hear some of your stories and advice in the comments for how you deal with your shiny objects. We can all learn from and support each other by acknowledging and whispering “shiny object” to ourselves and our friends and colleagues to keep each other on task for our goals. So, next time you read my blog and notice a “shiny object”, please give me a nudge by whispering “shiny object” in the comments, and it will help me get back on track. And I’ll happily do the same for you. Watch out for those shiny objects out there and wishing you all the best on whatever goals and journey you are working on now.
References
Bai, H., Li, X., Wang, X., Tong, W., Li, Y., & Hu, W. (2023). Active procrastination incubates more creative thinking: The sequential mediating effect of personal mastery and creative self-concept. Creativity Research Journal. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/10400419.2023.2171721
Bodalski, E. A., Flory, K., Canu, W. H., Willcutt, E. G., & Hartung, C. M. (2023). ADHD symptoms and procrastination in college students: The roles of emotion dysregulation and self-esteem. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 45(1), 48-57. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10862-022-09996-2
Campbell, R. L., & Bridges, A. J. (2023). Bedtime procrastination mediates the relation between anxiety and sleep problems. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 79(3), 803-817. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23440
Cruz, R. N. C., & Miranda, J. O. (2023). Examining procrastination using the DSM-5 personality trait model: Disinhibition as a core personality trait. Current Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-023-04815-7
I love this, especially the part about being distracted by worry. And...I am a fellow "shiny object" grabber! It's a real struggle, especially as an adult with ADHD. I cringe to think of all the books I didn't write over the years because of my shiny object syndrome!
I love this, especially the part about being distracted by worry. And...I am a fellow "shiny object" grabber! It's a real struggle, especially as an adult with ADHD. I cringe to think of all the books I didn't write over the years because of my shiny object syndrome!